Healing addiction starts with acknowledging that you are a highly emotional sensitive person, and that’s okay. You will not be the first or last person. You had a traumatic childhood, and came from a broken family. You were an identical twin who hated being an identical twin, you were abandoned, neglected and didn’t receive love from your mother and father. You were abused as a child, ignored and developed depression at a young age which included eating habits and disorders in order to receive attention and love, to detract from being a Twin.
You suppress your emotions like your father and you have followed his drinking habits as learned behaviour patterns, hoping that you would fit in and be loved by your father. The reality is he and your stepmom prefer you being a paranoid confident man with alcohol because they couldn’t accept you for who you were before. One conversation with them told me all I needed to know, “we like him now”. What so you like a man who is off his face on a drugs???
You have fought with every female figure in your life because the truth is they trigger you to death, as you were heavily manipulated as a child. You have not spoken or seen your mum since 2009 and have shut down any thoughts and feelings you had for her, as she was closer to you than your dad.
You disagreed with your father having an affair which has actually effected you more than you would know and you suppressed your feelings regarding the divorce of your parents and his subsequent marriage to call her G, you neither agreed with his re-marriage and neither accepted G as your step mom.
You and I triggered the hell out of eachother because of both our childhoods.In the end the emotions between us were too much for me to handle and I had to drive a wedge between us because I started to lose who I was.
I felt negatively impacted by your family and by the baggage that you carried. It was too much for me and I couldn’t get you to communicate and neither could I properly communicate with you.
You turned to drink to cope with dealing with all of this and that’s the worst coping mechanism that you could chose because in the end drink will win and you will lose.
It’s not embarrassing to get help, don’t forget the thousands of men who have waved their white flag because they could not do it on their own. It’s okay we all need help every once in a while to sift through the mountains of emotions.
I am always here for help and advice and thanks to you your addiction, I have educated people on the dangers and have spoken to many young guys which has made me want to go into the direction of counselling and life coaching. I have studied the biology and the neuro-science of the brain so I am aware of the symptoms and the stages. It is a process like cancer with stages. My door is always open for advice on how to come off Alcohol and any other addictions.
I have had to shut of any medium of communication and walk away because of how dangerous your symptoms are and I hope you know one day I did it to help you.
All my love, sending healing and light to your darkness,
Lets just get rid of the labels of Alcoholic and addict because they stop you from gettng help.
They stop you from understanding that shaking (withdrawal shakes and aggression) are not normal.
Worse though is the paranoia, 18 times looking at pages. The anayltics does the work for me. I know who it is and I know that its just another one of your symptoms rearing its head.
No I am not after you. No I have not been watching your movements but I do know when you are watching mine.
I have had to put a safe distance between us and maybe one day you might realise how dangerous your behaviour is. I know you cant help it. Its the Alcohol thats tipped your chemicals hay wire. You were a daft bastard but you were never a dangerous paranoid one.
Alcohol is a drug just like crack. It does the same to your brain.
Recognise it. Dont feel embarassed.
Fergie was paranoid too
Oh Alcohol you complete me,
You numb my pain and provide me with identity
Without it, I am a lost soul,
With it I am superhuman,
I am a drug, I dont believe in love
Because I kill it with alcohol
I cant help myself every drop I take
Prevents me from looking in the mirror
Because I am superhuman with it
Oh Alcohol you complete me, you help me lose my true identity
The sad part about all of this is you uttered these words to me. “My father had to have hypnotherapy for his addiction”. When you uttered those words could you even comprehend that 10 years down the line you would be faced with the same issue?
At 17 ” I couldnt and would never do drugs, I wouldn’t want to put that in my body”. You were athletic and a gym freak. You even hated getting inebriated. I quote you, ” I like to be in control”
Your an intelligent person. I will give you that. You are not thick by any stretch of the imagination. Surely on some conscious level. You must realise the correlation between amount of alcohol and the symptoms you now face.
Cravings, aggression and withdrawal shakes from not having an ‘alcoholic drink’ have become ‘normal for you’.
You are better than this.
I question though you as a sensitive soul and individual. Do you have the mental fortitude to do what it takes to get yourself off it.
That means changing your views on drink, weening yourself off drink and changing the way you think about life.
It’s all up to you…
Why would anyone want to give up their vice. It makes them feel good, adored and popular. Suddenly, you have friends, Your travelling, Your on fire. You look up to people in awe.
There are no issues at all. suddenly everything in your life is going well?? or is it??
Hey who wants to give up a drug that makes them feel like this. The point is like an antidepressant it’s not real. You are living your life on a drug. The drug controls you. The drug controls your actions. The drug controls your happy, the drug controls your sad. It’s an artificial pick me up and an addiction at the same time.
Did you ever wonder why you lived your whole life being socially awkward now all of a sudden you are a party goer, socialite.
If I could take a substance that would make me twice as outgoing as I used to be then hell maybe I would think about it.
But no the reality is I am socially quiet and shy and would never and could never take something that would alter my character.
I know my own character inside and out and I would understand the difference.
It’s easy to get why people wouldn’t want to give it up because it means facing the true reality of themselves and that’s something they don’t want to do.
It amazes me how high functioing alcoholics think there life is going swimmingly well. I realise it’s part of the addiction/disease/illness. They think they are fine. I am having a blast, look I can take a picture next to a rocky mountain in america. I can travel.I have my drinking buddies, I am the life and soul of the party. No girfriend to hold me back, I have a job, I am renting a flat off my dad. I am doing amazing.
yeh….. but the reality is your an Addict, you isolate yourself from your family most of the time, you lie, you hide and deny things. Your relationship has fallen apart, you actually don’t own a property and you work in one of the worst areas in South Wales. You spend hundreds every year on liquids so that you can be buried in a few years. You crave alcohol, your aggressive, your fat and your health is in the worst condition ever. You look like someone who has injected alcohol in every oriface of your body, you don’t speak to family members, you pissed off most of your old friends, you look like your in a gay relationship with a would be Johnny depp and your other best friend is a bottle of beer. You hang out with heavy drinkers, your family is riddled with heavy drinkers, you have no real job career prospects other than to continue drinking your liver away…
1. Do they suffer from low self esteem, issues communicating, trouble with dealing with emotions, they are likely a very sensitive person deep down and turn to drink as a way of coping with stress, life etc
2. If Addiction is rife in their family, it is likely they inherited genes that meant they were prone to having Addictive tendencies plus if they grew up in an environment where drinking was the norm to deal with issues as well as smoking or drugs, it’s a double whammy and these learned behaviours get absorbed from a young age.
3. They can’t stop at just one drink, they have to have more, sighting 2for1 offers or looking out for bargains. Alcohol is a drug, it’s the same as sticking heroine in your arm and jacking up, if the person is more concerned with how much money they can save or how many pints they can buy with a tenner, they are dependent
4. Alcoholism has stages and processes just like Cancer but it’s also a lot more complicated in that it affects the neuro-transmitters in the brain, Alcoholism can mimic a whole range of conditions such as BPD, Bi polar, Depression, amongst many, any signs of personality changes
5. Physical appearances such as belly gut, unkempt hair, growing beards, losing hair, red face, blotchy skin, and even hearing problems, gastrointestinal problems are just a few additional warning signs
6. Alcoholics are master manipulators, they lie to hide their addiction. They pretend that it’s you who has the issue when they are confronted, they are aggressive, nasty and abusive. If you feel you are in danger or you are mentally traumatised by the lies and torment. Walk away and look after your own needs.
7. You can only do as much as you can do. You are not there to save them from their own ruin, no matter how hard this may be. Take a step back and realise the damage. You may never see them again, but that’s there decision not yours.
Just touching base on some thoughts about Alcoholics.
Please don’t blame yourself for your loved ones drinking after speaking to many people. It’s is the norm to feel overwhelmed with guilt and tears about their alcohol abuse problems. It’s an addiction. You did not cause it and you cannot control it.
They don’t care what havoc they wreak and in particular if they are high functioning, they will deny even more so they have problems.
The best thing you can do is take very good care of yourself. Whilst it may hurt that they are parading around following drinking crowds and they pose with photos looking unlike the person they used to be.
It’s not your issue or your problem
They have to wake up to themselves and want to change.
Letting go of An addict is the healthiest thing you can do for yourself