As hard as this topic is to talk about and to post. It has to be posted. It has to be out there. People never want to talk about the root of their pain and Sadly it all stems back to childhood. These formative years are so important in raising a child and teaching children about morals and values. Everything they learn is through their mentors (their parents)
Sadly, many children are brought into the world in dysfunctional families. Parents who should never be together, and were ‘married’ because they found out they were pregnant. Rushed marriages where there was no love, no connection and no bond. Unhappiness settles in and soon both argue, row and turn to addictive behaviours such as smoking and drinking.
The thing thats worse is bearing too many children to cope with finacially and struggling with their unhealthy relationship.
Abuse is the next thing to occur. Kids being locked in bedrooms, washing up liquid down throats, and stools put over throats. This is the stuff of social services, but still families deny any issues or problems. Its hurrendous, the emotional impact to a child cant even be described into words and the emotional scarring of witnessing addiction and abuse is horrific. These patterns of behaviours get soaked up and repeated in the mind. This is where coping tools and turning to an Addiction come into play.
The most upsetting thing is by the time children turn into Adults the damage is done, the family continue to deny problems including Addiction, which is percieved as normal behaviour in reality to an outsider it is not)
The issue with this is by not recognising this trauma and coming to terms no matter how difficult it may be by talking to someone about it, you end up carrying this trauma around for the rest of your life and whats worse is ultimately it impacts relationships and the people that you love and your own mental health and wellbeing.
Turning to drink, drugs( chose your vice) is just a very bad way of saying I cant cope with life, my past or present but instead of talking to people. You keep it hidden in a dark place. This goes on for months and years till the changes start to become significant that you identify with being an Addict. The very behaviour you swore blind to yourself you would never follow, yet the reality is, you did.
Nothing will ever change untill you are able to come to terms and accept your upbringing. No one wished it for you, no one did it personally to hurt you. It happened before you were even born. You couldnt control your upbringing but you can chose to control how you go forward as an Adult. We are all responsible for ourselves, mental health and wellbeing. Its up to us to chose the paths we go down.
When you have faced your demons. You will feel a sigh of relief vowing that it was never your fault, how could it be? You were just an innocent child. You can control your future and make sure you have a happy healthy home. You may never gain the love you seek from Parents or selfish siblings. You are the love. You have to be enough love for yourself. When you love yourself you can love others with an open heart.
“I can do it on my own”. “No you cant”. You actually cant. Addiction takes hold of your brain cells so much to the point that you are unable to control your actions or thinking. You actually need someone else to help( someone who is impartial)
The value of talking to someone is imeasurable. Even if you feel it wont help. You never know. Having someone who can sit there without judgement and get you to think about what made you turn to drink is beneficial. Battling your demons is the only way through the forest of deceipt and lies you tell yourself.
If you dont get to the root cause of why you drank. You will wreak havoc on yourself and also ruin future relationships with people.