I am glad I come from a background where addiction isnt rife. A family ubringing that didnt include Alcoholism, however I am very lucky, for many others its the norm.
I dont drink. 1. For my Health, 2. I have watched a relationship, my own slide down the hill because of it.
I have endured emotional abuse because of it and I had to walk away.
It is so hard to watch someone fall down a rabbit hole that you care about. It is so hard to shut a door and watch through the key hole, knowing one day in the future you could learn their name in an obituary in some paper. You tried everything but you were met with aggression, a person who exeburated love now wants you dead, their enemy. I didnt cope with it well, I found it hard, it took a long time to realise it was the drink, I researched and was horrified.
I saw the personality changes, the blame, hate and aggression I knew this was a world away from the person I knew. They may have been immature but they certainly thought the world of me and I of them.
I became an enemy because I pointed things out, I became an ememy because I was stong enough to point out their issues, whilst they were too weak to deal with them.
Lies, manipulation, slander all to hide their addiction.
Dettaching oneself from someone who has a myriad of issues including Addiction is hard. To learn to put a barrier up was the only thing I could do.
I myself have had to go through counselling to learn how to deal with it, I am glad I did, it also taught me about my own issues.
There is nothing you can do if someone wants to self destruct, if someone doesnt want to go and look at the root of their drinking. You should never be made to feel you are the cause. The main point to hit on, is this person had issues long before you walked through the door, there is nothing wrong with that, none of us are perfect, but its how you deal with them thats key.
I send this individual love and light but I wont be seeing them untill they aknowedge themselves, their issues and untill they realise their behavioural patterns, their influences of Alcohol and bad friends and untill they wake up and realise how much damage they have caused. Then and then only would I allow them to enter my life. I ofcourse still care but not at the detriment of my own happiness being destroyed.
Alcohol destroys relationships, love repairs them.