The lies of the functioning Alcoholic, yes you have job, but you have a dependency on alcohol, high denial and can only socialise with heavy drinkers

It amazes me how high functioing alcoholics think there life is going swimmingly well. I realise it’s part of the addiction/disease/illness. They think they are fine. I am having a blast, look I can take a picture next to a rocky mountain in america. I can travel.I have my drinking buddies, I am the life and soul of the party. No girfriend to hold me back, I have a job, I am renting a flat off my dad. I am doing amazing.

 yeh….. but the reality is your an Addict, you isolate yourself from your family most of the time, you lie, you hide and deny things. Your relationship has fallen apart, you actually don’t own a property and you work in one of the worst areas in South Wales. You spend hundreds every year on liquids so that you can be buried in a few years. You crave alcohol, your aggressive, your fat and your health is in the worst condition ever. You look like someone who has injected alcohol in every oriface of your body, you don’t speak to family members, you pissed off most of your old friends, you look like your in a gay relationship with a would be Johnny depp and your other best friend is a bottle of beer. You hang out with heavy drinkers, your family is riddled with heavy drinkers, you have no real job career prospects other than to continue drinking your liver away…
But no..

All fine.

Here are my points for recognising High Dependency on alcohol in a person. Starting with if they can only ever relax with a drink that’s the first red flag…

1. Do they suffer from low self esteem, issues communicating, trouble with dealing with emotions, they are likely a very sensitive person deep down and turn to drink as a way of coping with stress, life etc

2. If Addiction is rife in their family, it is likely they inherited genes that meant they were prone to having Addictive tendencies plus if they grew up in an environment where drinking was the norm to deal with issues as well as smoking or drugs, it’s a double whammy and these learned behaviours get absorbed from a young age.

3. They can’t stop at just one drink, they have to have more, sighting 2for1 offers or looking out for bargains. Alcohol is a drug, it’s the same as sticking heroine in your arm and jacking up, if the person is more concerned with how much money they can save or how many pints they can buy with a tenner, they are dependent 

4. Alcoholism has stages and processes just like Cancer but it’s also a lot more complicated in that it affects the neuro-transmitters in the brain, Alcoholism can mimic a whole range of conditions such as BPD, Bi polar, Depression, amongst many, any signs of personality changes

5. Physical appearances such as belly gut, unkempt hair, growing beards, losing hair, red face, blotchy skin, and even hearing problems, gastrointestinal problems are just a few additional warning signs

6. Alcoholics are master manipulators, they lie to hide their addiction.  They pretend that it’s you who has the issue when they are confronted, they are aggressive, nasty and abusive. If you feel you are in danger or you are mentally traumatised by the lies and torment. Walk away and look after your own needs.

7. You can only do as much as you can do. You are not there to save them from their own ruin, no matter how hard this may be. Take a step back and realise the damage. You may never see them again, but that’s there decision not yours. 

An Alcoholic will live in high denial and blame loved ones, it’s all part of the illness, they can’t socialise without drink, it’s a physiological and physcological dependency, they HAVE to have a drink, they can only socialise with drinkers

Just touching base on some thoughts about Alcoholics. 
Please don’t blame yourself for your loved ones drinking after speaking to many people. It’s is the norm to feel overwhelmed with guilt and tears about their alcohol abuse problems. It’s an addiction. You did not cause it and you cannot control it.

 They don’t care what havoc they wreak and in particular if they are high functioning, they will deny even more so they have problems.
The best thing you can do is take very good care of yourself. Whilst it may hurt that they are parading around following drinking crowds and they pose with photos looking unlike the person they used to be. 
It’s not your issue or your problem

They have to wake up to themselves and want to change. 

Letting go of An addict is the healthiest thing you can do for yourself