Technology and TV; and how they both negatively impact on Relationships, Friendships and Mental Health, how joining a commune seems like a good idea 

What has all this Technology done for us?..sweet FA, everybody is so connected by everything these days, but yet 1 in 3 people suffer from Depression or a serious Mental Health condition, there is a 6 month waiting list to speak to a Counsellor on the NHS and the Mental Health services are crying out for more funding, people’s levels of unhappiness are Higher now than during war time. Lets just stop and pause for a minute…

So what you have to ask yourself is, is any of this helping the Human Race? Whilst I agree that the Human Race is on a path of Modernity and that through History things have naturally evolved in order for society to efficiently run, I very much hesitate to accept that the changes in the last twenty years have had a positive impact on peoples lives as evidenced specifically by looking at studies of happiness, rates of suicide and the highest rates of mental Health Conditions the UK has ever witnessed.

In an age where if you havn’t got the latest I-Phone you are socially cast aside, but at the same token you are more concerned about said I-Phone that you forget the very human beings that surround you. You neither care for the moral implications of how the phone was put together, the lives that were lost during production of phone and the slave driving conditions that workers are put under…but no its more important that Santa delivers your I-Phone so you can be seen as ‘up on Technology’. I loathe these people.

I an age where I have to ask people to put their phones away at the table, when you have not met eachother for years but people are obsessed with the likes, shares and comments in this self absorbed world we live in, that they can’t spend more than an hour from their phone or a screen. 

I feel very sorry for those who lock themselves a way night after night pretending that the gaming world that they are a part of is, is real life. That they would rather participate on a game, than spend quality time person to person with Family and Friends. Its sad that we live in an age filled with such low self esteem and unhappiness.

Some days I just want off this World, with recent reports that Social Media (all forms) has a detrimental impact on Mental Health, that people believe the world that people post, when the sad fact is they never tell the world the whole story. The envy, jealousy and bitterness because said friend has a more fantastic lifestyle and said friend owns a yacht, a House, has a baby. The constant comparisons are damning. When you think about it logically, its fairly stupid, before the rise of consumerisation and Social Media, it was much harder to keep up with peoples lives, unless they were obviously a part of your life. Now its all shoved in our faces at the click of a button.
In an age where partners know all the characters of Game of Thrones but couldnt tell a single thing about the depths of their partners soul or what their likes, dislikes are, its very sad and obviously telling that its an inevtibility that break ups happen as well as marriages falling a part. 

These are all just Distractions. Distractions to life. 

I myself barely watch TV, Dont have Netflix, dont play games, and limit my time on screens. As I am a sensitive soul, too much TV drags me down and always has. I need to feel free and go out enjoy the fresh air and see the World.

The thing is I am much Happier for it. I dont condemn it all but I do feel people need to go back to zero. I feel people were a lot happier when they didnt have the constant headache of it all.

I spend quality time with people and I have a good circle of friends who do a myriad of activities and as we only have one life on this planet I would rather spend it wisely with those I love than waste it sitting in front of a screen.

Some days I want to be free and not bothered by all of it. I feel sometimes although I engage in Social Media and blog like this, I wonder what it would be like to join a commune and live a more simplistic life growing Veg..

…maybe just one day…. untill such time I will continue posting my thoughts on here


Gratitude list for goals, happiness and success 18/10/2016

Attitude is gratitude, every now and then its important to write down what you are thankful for and grateful for even when life throws you lemons, always stop and remember your role in the bigger picture. We can always be thankful for something.

1. I am grateful for the beautiful people that surround me

2. I am grateful for the kind love and support those people bring

3. I am grateful for the gift of laughter and being able to make people laugh

4. I am grateful for having a roof over my head

5. I am grateful for the trees and nature that surrounds me

6. I am grateful for happiness

7. I am grateful for the opportunities in my life

8. I am grateful for being able to work on amazing projects

9. I am grateful to be living

10. I am grateful for my personality

The Power of the Universe, law of attraction, manifestation, positivity and happiness

Happiness begins with you. If you dont like yourself you cant possibly make anyone else happy. 

This is such a true statement. I will admit I found it a difficult to begin with. Being negative and cynical was easy for me, but a series of events changed all this.

As soon as I dropped my attitude of negativity, positive things started to happen, this is from attracting money into my life, holidays and friends as well as situations.

The mind is a powerful tool and when we use it wisely we can create our own reality. When you vizualise in your minds eye your true hopes and desires, you are able to change your destiny by wishing for it and raising your vibration. 

We are vibrational beings, we all have energy, like attracts like, positivity attracts positivity. If you think negatively you will only ever attract negative things and people.

Its really strange sometimes when I wish for things and really think about it I am able to attract that specific thing.

I have found since I have raised my vibration as a being on this planet, the people that have surrounded me are good happy people who share the same sunny disposition as me.
Do I always think that unicorns crap out rainbows no, do I have negative feelings yes, I am only human, but being aware and being able to change those and turn negatives into positives is what helps me.

The universe will send you whatever you desire as long as it is for your greater good. This is the law of attraction. I was always a sceptical person whilst spiritual when I first heard of this I was like hmmmm.

My hairdresser told me how her friend manifested a job and a house within a year simply by looking at a picture board of her dream job and house every day. This was in london and I couldnt believe it.

After doing some research about the 12 laws of the Universe, everything made sense. 

Law of relativity- we are all given tasks and situations to learn lessons, once we have learned that lesson, the universe will stop testing you.

Everything in these universal laws made sense to me. 
I try and now live my life by it believeing that things happen for a reason, fate happens for a reason. 

The importance of staying positive when everything is negative is helpful.

So give it a go. What do you have to lose ?

Alcohol and its effect on Relationships, emotional abuse, personality changes, unhealthy patterns and brain changes

I am glad I come from a background where addiction isnt rife. A family ubringing that didnt include Alcoholism, however I am very lucky, for many others its the norm.

I dont drink. 1. For my Health, 2. I have watched a relationship, my own slide down the hill because of it.

I have endured emotional abuse because of it and I had to walk away.

It is so hard to watch someone fall down a rabbit hole that you care about. It is so hard to shut a door and watch through the key hole, knowing one day in the future you could learn their name in an obituary in some paper. You tried everything but you were met with aggression, a person who exeburated love now wants you dead, their enemy. I didnt cope with it well, I found it hard, it took a long time to realise it was the drink, I researched and was horrified. 
I saw the personality changes, the blame, hate and aggression I knew this was a world away from the person I knew. They may have been immature but they certainly thought the world of me and I of them.

I became an enemy because I pointed things out, I became an ememy because I was stong enough to point out their issues, whilst they were too weak to deal with them.

Lies, manipulation, slander all to hide their addiction.

Dettaching oneself from someone who has a myriad of issues including Addiction is hard. To learn to put a barrier up was the only thing I could do.

I myself have had to go through counselling to learn how to deal with it, I am glad I did, it also taught me about my own issues.

There is nothing you can do if someone wants to self destruct, if someone doesnt want to go and look at the root of their drinking. You should never be made to feel you are the cause. The main point to hit on, is this person had issues long before you walked through the door, there is nothing wrong with that, none of us are perfect, but its how you deal with them thats key.

I send this individual love and light but I wont be seeing them untill they aknowedge themselves, their issues and untill they realise their behavioural patterns, their influences of Alcohol and bad friends and untill they wake up and realise how much damage they have caused. Then and then only would I allow them to enter my life. I ofcourse still care but not at the detriment of my own happiness being destroyed.

Alcohol destroys relationships, love repairs them.

How Alcohol Changes Your Brain

Karmic Relationships and friendships, people come into your life for a reason and people leave for a reason, lessons for the Soul, personal growth and development

I am what we call ‘awakened’, I have always been a spiritual person although bought up in a strict religious setting. I dont follow religion but I follow spirituality. Spirituality isnt about sitting there and saying Omm and praying to Buddha. 
It’s a feeling and a belief that we are part of something bigger than ourselves, the Universe. The Universe guides and ultimately controls our destiny. We have free will and the ability to make choices but at the same token we are also sent tests, situations and people to help develop our character and make us realise what our true path is really all about. 
After a series of crazy tests for myself. I am now fully aware of the Universe’s role in providing us things, events and people. It took a few years to be fully aware. Once I was aware I started to realise how powerful our minds are and also how powerful the Universe is.

When Negative things happen in our life. The natural reaction is to coil in horror. However, no matter how many tears you shed, or how much anger you release over the negative events. They always happen for a reason. You might not see it but later on things will be clear.

They make us stronger and more in line with our path, they make us think twice about ourselves and our character. They make us think twice about our choice of relationship and what we want from another person.

Ultimately, people bring lessons, be it good or bad. There is a reason why you connect with someone and a reason why we disconnect with people.

Over the years I have released many people from my life. Simply because they no longer served a purpose. As I grew older I became wiser and what I wanted out of friends and relationships just wasnt being served. I was no longer a teenager but a fully grown mature Adult and I ultimately saw through fake friendships that wouldnt last. If any ended on a sour note, it was in order to teach me a lesson and ultimately it was because I was too giving of myself and people usually took advantage of that.

When negative people enter your life. Its to shake you up, if they are destructive and cause pain. Its too shock you into rethinking your own belief system. Its to guide you to better things. 

Positive people help you grow. Negative people weigh you down. I have now become meticulous with who I vibe with. If I dont feel a connection, a happy one. I will kindly aknowledge presecene but in my own heart I aknowledge that we will never be on the same page. Through my strong intuition I am able to weed out who the good ones are amongst the fake people. Its a gift I was born with.

I vibe with people who are happy souls, who dont need drink and who are content with who they are and what they do. I love happy people. They make the world a more brighter place and even if they have stuff going on. They will always try and have a sunny disposition about life.

In the same vain Relationships that dont grow and make you a better person, have come into your life to teach you, you need to grow. We cant be the same person we were at 17. I know I am not. I have grown into an independent strong women and I had to learn to do that by myself. Something I wouldnt have entertained before. 

I am thankful for my lessons from the people that taught me well. I will always love myself first before anyone and anything and I will always release those who no longer serve me.

Happy People, positive vibes, positive life.

Addiction, Childhood Abuse, Neglect and Dysfunctional upbringing

As hard as this topic is to talk about and to post. It has to be posted. It has to be out there. People never want to talk about the root of their pain and Sadly it all stems back to childhood. These formative years are so important in raising a child and teaching children about morals and values. Everything they learn is through their mentors (their parents)

Sadly, many children are brought into the world in dysfunctional families. Parents who should never be together, and were ‘married’ because they found out they were pregnant. Rushed marriages where there was no love, no connection and no bond. Unhappiness settles in and soon both argue, row and turn to addictive behaviours such as smoking and drinking.

The thing thats worse is bearing too many children to cope with finacially and struggling with their unhealthy relationship.

Abuse is the next thing to occur. Kids being locked in bedrooms, washing up liquid down throats, and stools put over throats. This is the stuff of social services, but still families deny any issues or problems. Its hurrendous, the emotional impact to a child cant even be described into words and the emotional scarring of witnessing addiction and abuse is horrific. These patterns of behaviours get soaked up and repeated in the mind. This is where coping tools and turning to an Addiction come into play.

The most upsetting thing is by the time children turn into Adults the damage is done, the family continue to deny problems including Addiction, which is percieved as normal behaviour in reality to an outsider it is not)

The issue with this is by not recognising this trauma and coming to terms no matter how difficult it may be by talking to someone about it, you end up carrying this trauma around for the rest of your life and whats worse is ultimately it impacts relationships and the people that you love and your own mental health and wellbeing. 

Turning to drink, drugs( chose your vice) is just a very bad way of saying I cant cope with life, my past or present but instead of talking to people. You keep it hidden in a dark place. This goes on for months and years till the changes start to become significant that you identify with being an Addict. The very behaviour you swore blind to yourself you would never follow, yet the reality is, you did.

Nothing will ever change untill you are able to come to terms and accept your upbringing. No one wished it for you, no one did it personally to hurt you. It happened before you were even born. You couldnt control your upbringing but you can chose to control how you go forward as an Adult. We are all responsible for ourselves, mental health and wellbeing. Its up to us to chose the paths we go down.

When you have faced your demons. You will feel a sigh of relief vowing that it was never your fault, how could it be? You were just an innocent child. You can control your future and make sure you have a happy healthy home. You may never gain the love you seek from Parents or selfish siblings. You are the love. You have to be enough love for yourself. When you love yourself you can love others with an open heart.

“I can do it on my own”. “No you cant”. You actually cant. Addiction takes hold of your brain cells so much to the point that you are unable to control your actions or thinking. You actually need someone else to help( someone who is impartial)

The value of talking to someone is imeasurable. Even if you feel it wont help. You never know. Having someone who can sit there without judgement and get you to think about what made you turn to drink is beneficial. Battling your demons is the only way through the forest of deceipt and lies you tell yourself.

If you dont get to the root cause of why you drank. You will wreak havoc on yourself and also ruin future relationships with people.

How to love yourself fully deeply and implicitly, self love, health and care.

‘ if you dont love yourself, how can you expect another being to love you’.
Being at peace with who we are and where we have come from no matter how bad or good our upbringing was is the only way to be true and to be happy.

If you dont value who you are deep down, if you dont treat your body and mind right your outerworld will not be pleasant. You will attract negative things, negative people, negative habbits.
Accepting who we are for our flaws, good points and being honest with yourself about your positives and negative traits will help you to be a stronger individual.

Loving yourself is giving yourself enough love. Standing in that love and saying world this is who I am take it or leave it. No drink, no substances, just you. Just you and what you came to do on this Earth. 

You might feel inadequate about looks, inadequate about certain things. Every person is beautiful. Every person has a gift to offer the world. Find what your gift is.

I found mine. Helping people to laugh and helping and listening to people. I realised this was my gift. I care implicitly. Finding myself a purpose gave me a real sense of joy and happiness.  I am here for something.

I love myself for who I am. I love my mind, body, soul, everything. It took a long time to stand in this confidence. I am me. I wouldnt change me for anything. I can be challenging at times but thats what makes me unique, I can be demanding and I know when to reign that in. I might want to tweek certain things about my body but I wouldnt be me if I did.

It took a while to listen to compliments, ‘you are sooo funny’. Am I? Yes I am, ‘you are attractive’, yes I can see that, ‘you are a hoot’, you dont care what people think’, no I dont and you know what its liberating. Its not narcissistic. I just have learned to love myself and accept the good with the bad.

Loving your mind and body are the most postive things you can do for yourself. I see that I am part of something much bigger than me. I am on a spiritual journey.Through taking a step back and looking at myself properly I have learned and grown as an individual.

If you dont like who you are its time to start getting intimate with yourself. Its time to stop being fake. First, get your body healthy, eat right. Love your body. Care for it. Nurture it, water it and feed it with luscious veg, next nurture your mind. Read and stretch yourself, search deep in your mind for unhealthy patterns. Then search your soul. Search long and hard, you will find yourself there. No bells, no whistles, no tvs, no phones, no people.
Just You! 

Addiction and love, why loving an addict from afar is hard… My Relationship with an Alcoholic

This article perfectly sums up my feelings. Loving an Addict is hard….
You kept it hidden from me for many years, I could see the changes I just never understood why. I now understand more than ever, when someone cant live without a drink, posts about drink and became obsessed with drinking, it was clear that drink fueled you more than love. It was clear you were an Addict.
I will never accept the type of behaviour or abuse levelled at me. Over the years you changed into someone I couldnt stand, An Alcoholic misogynstic person and thats not for me. 

Saving myself is the best thing I could do for my own mental health and wellbeing. I have all the love I need from the people that surround me. One day I hope you understand. I hope you are able to make peace with your past, your family issues and seek help. I know that theu have nothing to do with me. I wish you love light and happiness.